of clem

2008-02-08T11:18:00.000-08:00

never forget.

2008-01-28T11:58:00.000-08:00

i remember this football game like it was yesterday-ish.
my mom and i were watching the game (ofclem) and this kid made us lose it.

miroslav tichý.

2008-01-24T12:54:00.000-08:00

feeling anxious?

2008-01-23T08:43:00.000-08:00

SeeqPod - Playable Search

faceface.

2008-01-11T08:59:00.001-08:00

with all the virtual and feral cats out there on teh internets, you should really adopt.

meredith monkday.

2008-01-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search

picture makin'.

2008-01-07T08:08:00.000-08:00

[tinyvices.com]

movies about texas.

2007-12-10T09:59:00.000-08:00

although not directly about say pseudo-fictional towns in north texas, lecherous ranch men, or border issues, the thin blue line is a must watch for anyone living in texas or planning to move to our fine state.

this machine kills buffets/pre-thanksgiving playlist.

2007-11-21T09:05:00.000-08:00

SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search

in ur thursday, making you cry at work.

2007-11-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search
thank you, neena and mike.

don't drop the speedo, please.

2007-11-15T08:36:00.000-08:00

broken photography equipment is a fact of my life. i deal with it all the time. whether darkroom, studio, or digital, i fix stuff a lot.

my day is made more pleasant when i talk to people ordering parts that are knowledgeable, helpful, and have a sense of humor. the fellow at speedotron i talked to today was just that person. i was off the phone in 5 minutes and was told my parts would be shipped ups today.

tuesday playlist.

2007-11-13T08:49:00.001-08:00

SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search

driver safety.

2007-11-12T08:48:00.001-08:00

In lieu of comedy clubs, free cafeteria food dinners, and a room full of disgruntled drivers, i opted for the 6 hour at home dvd course.

not the worst thing in the world and fortunately, the video was produced in houston so i got to see:
a. some shots of downtown.
b. at least two clips of driving down allen parkway past the montrose/studemont exit. then later, a clip going the other way.
c. some stuff on i45.
d. crazy man in a hummer tailgaiting a woman in a porsche suv on memorial drive.

not surprisingly, but still disappointingly, no shots of my girlfriend and myself sitting on a blanket reading books on the menil lawn. additionally, and again not surprisingly, no shots of my girlfriend and i eating pizza, a mozzarella sammich and drinking beer at brasil.

wait! you need shots of traffic! ok, so my girlfriend and i are in her car driving down a congested westheimer after selling some clothes to buffalo exchange.

wait! how about this: us driving to the wayside drive dunkin' donuts on sunday morning. we could be in the train safety segment! trains move really slow through the east side of town! perfect! we could be all like, "go go go! we can make it! they are totes going to run out of croissants again!"

in all seriousness, i talked to my mother after finishing the course and she asked me, "what did you learn?" i thought about it for longer than i had intended... here is what i learned:

a. safe spaces (the distance you put between yourself and other drivers) are a great and an easy way to reduce the liklihood of accidents.
b. use public transportation when possible if travelling. an unfamiliar driving landscape and/or new sights can cause distraction and thus accidents.
c. texting and driving is still stupid.

dumb phones prefer...

2007-11-08T08:55:00.000-08:00

in lieu of a smart phone/blackberry/higher phone bill, using opera mini provides full content web browsing on my humble samsung d807 and email checking that is quicker than using at&t's medianet browser.

http://www.operamini.com/
http://lifehacker.com

naughty lists.

2007-11-07T12:28:00.001-08:00

additional things that you can do to get off the "naughty" list:

be courteous when driving.
smile at the cashier at evil kroger.
laugh at your mistakes.
stop buying everything apple tries to sell you.
take your shopping cart back into evil kroger.

fried mayonaise, etc.

2007-11-06T08:16:00.001-08:00

so this nytimes article is not that interesting. whatevs! fried mayo is pretty interesting.

tuesday playlist.

2007-11-06T06:47:00.000-08:00

SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search

mondays, guitars, drinking, drugs, seeqpod.

2007-10-29T11:25:00.000-07:00

SeeqPod Music beta - Playable Search

goodbye, cruel world.

2007-10-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

the lede has all the apocalyptic bloggy content you need! happy humpday!

R.I.P.

2007-09-21T13:01:00.000-07:00

...

2007-08-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

car porn!!!1!

2007-08-25T18:25:00.000-07:00

i can't even remember what led me start searching for mid-sixties model volvo sedans but i am having a hard time breathing now...

i am going to pack a little basket full of fake bologna sammiches, a bottle of red stuff from paso robles and hop in the 1964 trabant 600 camping combi. ...and maybe pick somebody up from her apartment! see you later, suckers!
[www.delest.nl]

pee ess: look! the steering wheel is on the american side! i can drive it without veering into oncoming traffic!

mumblecore also applies to people who drink too much.

2007-08-23T11:41:00.000-07:00

well okay! if there was ever ONE GOOD DAMN reason a person needed to quit drinking, this is it: shane mcgowan on the henry rollins show.

going underground.

2007-08-21T06:40:00.000-07:00

so i have heard about this a thousand times and now there is an article in the new york times about it. i guess i should go peek it.

[nytimes.com]

button presser.

2007-08-16T06:43:00.001-07:00

sometimes when i miss you, i press this button.

[glass giant]

oregon trail lol.

2007-07-30T11:45:00.001-07:00

uh huh. you know you played that game when you were in 5th grade and ran out of food and broke a wheel and little annabel came down with typhoid.

HA! i am awesome! i even hunted for food! i shot a bear and a deer and a squirrel!

see that? look at the bottom! i have $30.50 left over! do you realize what kind of money that is in 1844? i am soooo rich. i'm in portland! i am going to start a band!
[icanhascheezburger.com]
[oregon trail emulator]

in the wasteland of youtube.

2007-07-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

every once in a while you come across something like this:

[the langley schools music project, wikipedia]

best. lyrics. ever.

2007-07-13T11:36:00.001-07:00

ha! still great after almost 20 years! you are SO old! OMG!
[they might be giants]

bypass loppers. well, just lopper.

2007-07-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

i love this bypass lopper. seriously.

i have been working little by little this week cleaning up trees around my yard, taking care of plant beds and using the corona 24" bypass lopper to do it. the corona lopper is lightweight, compact, durable, shock absorbing and makes hot, sweaty, mosquito infested work go by a lot faster.

i have had my pair for almost 4 years now and will use them at least once a month if not (as is the case with spring-summer) a couple times every couple of weeks. they are a bit stained but still cut beautifully. additionally, the grips on my model are rubber and not the WACK high-density foam business you will find on other loppers. CHEAPER loppers...

i warn you, do not buy non-bypass loppers: your back will hurt, your arms will hurt, you will want your $30 back and then you will go buy a corona.

[corona]

heh.

2007-07-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

simpsonsmovie.com

mister legroom!

2007-07-02T19:53:00.000-07:00

there i am! on a plane! see my seat? no, no... one over. no, one row!
well, i will probably have lots of leg room! even if i pass out! heh!

i think everything will be just fine. my mom is ironing one of my shirts right now, i have some snacks and a sammich made, and those pajama pants that i left at home? target is selling pretty nice seersucker pajama pants and i now have a pair.

thanks to mum and mary for everything. i love you both.

earlier: have a nice fright.

watch me now!

2007-06-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

whether or not you think the new blonde redhead album is crummy or not doesn't matter anymore because of this video. ahem, because the video is pretty great.

additionally, since i broke down and went to buy No one belongs here more than you. on my lunch break, and because there is some wack miranda july hating going on over at gawker, i am going to be happy and have fun and love life and enjoy all the miranda july i can today.

[sniff, sniff]

2007-06-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

no ktru web broadcasting today.

see why here. [savenetradio.org]

tulsa.

2007-06-15T12:48:00.000-07:00

1957 [nytimes/the lede]

1963-1971 [icp/larry clark]

tetris.

2007-06-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

b4b.

2007-06-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

8:29 AM me: and...
http://www.crumplerbags.com/b4b/
there it is.
8:30 AM M: yeah, isn't that nuts?
where am i gonna get a [redacted adjective unsafe for babies] case of hoegaarden?
i'd drink it myself before i'd trade it for a goofy lookin bag
me: hahahaha

goodnight, world.

2007-06-05T14:01:00.000-07:00

this is going to be a problem for me. [china daily]

lolseal clubbing not so lol.

2007-05-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

[image source]

whatever you are, quit drinking.

2007-05-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

this morning before work i went to taco cabana for breakfast. i ordered my food and while i was waiting, i realized there were two people sitting by the window totally drinking beer. drinking beer at 8:00am i suppose would be a more fitting assessment.

i personally am not the type of person to start drinking in the morning and assuming that the couple had just gotten off work, well, it's ok. just not my speed if you will.

what is totally and completely not ok is that these people were wearing scrubs and talking about patients! this feels like one slippery step away from watching a cop in uniform drinking! medical talk and tecate and breakfast tacos and that whole doctor patient confidentiality thing do not make for a pleasant morning make! nurses or nursing assistants or nurse practitioners or whatever these people are should seriously get a clue and stop trying to scare me away from visiting my doctor. every time i get blood drawn in the future i am going to be so afraid that the person doing it just came from drinking at taco cabana or like, a bar or something.

non-lame, non-leather shoes.

2007-05-21T09:26:00.000-07:00

for years now i have searched for a source of non-hemp, non-hippie, non-leather shoes. every once in a while i can find decent looking shoes at mooshoes.com. today i found these folks: http://www.alternativeoutfitters.com

they have a normal selection of men's shoes and reasonable prices.

additionally, they also sell a smart-looking wallet made with gaffers tape.

for your convenience.

2007-05-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

the original.

remix.

video game remix.

obvs.

the assassinators.

2007-05-15T10:51:00.000-07:00

wonderful band from denmark. dark and melodic, bright hopeful vocals. what else do you want? songs about politics and love? they have those according to the interview linked below.

[myspace]
[interview]

hahaha, shirtless.

2007-05-08T11:34:00.000-07:00

i am so dead.

2007-05-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

so i just got back from lunch and i saw this article about one of my favorite things ever...

operation: donut!

2007-04-18T05:27:00.000-07:00

mmmmm. do you like donuts? i like donuts a lot, too. so cake-like, so sugary. but sugary in that melty way and not the granulated way.

this morning's donut selection is as follows:
glazed donut 2
donut holes 12
coffee 16oz.

these items were purchased from donut inc. at approximately 7:10am. the staff was relatively unfriendly this morning but was wearing an apron with an animal on it. cute!

live-blog follows...
7:32am: at work now and the donut holes are GONE. those bastards are so easy to eat. in hindsight i should have gotten three dozen of those. a few sips of coffee and i am off to go peek on the lab.
7:58am: lab is up and ready. i still have the two glazed donuts left in their "made fresh daily" bag. i am just drinking coffee and hoping my tummy feels better in 5 minutes than it does right now. i ate the donut holes REALLY fast.
8:14am whaaa?!! doors here in my building have not been unlocked by the people who are supposed to unlock them... luckily, it just takes a 5/32" hex wrench to keep the doors here locked open. additionally, glazed #1 is gone.
8:19am i am feeling better(tummy) and super awake. sometimes if i stay up kinda late i will be this awake by 8:30. i feel like it is noon!
8:35am haha! my tummy is hurting again as i make my way through glazed #2. additionally, "the mariner's revenge song" is playing in itunes.
8:44am all my donuts are gone! i had to go get some paper towels because the sugar is strong. my lips are so sweet. hahaha. mwa. peter tosh now playing.
9:13am i feel better. again. lab is busy and i just spent 5 minutes looking for a set of marshall photo oils. well hidden...
9:32am just finished my coffee and helped clear a roll of C-41 black and white film with room temperature bleach fix.
10:08am my area assistant says to try starbucks' glazed sour cream donuts from starbucks. "they are tasty." additionally, "kind of expensive, like .99." i feel terrific right now. the tummyache has come and gone all morning but i think it is gone for good now.

doooooooonuts.

2007-04-17T08:52:00.001-07:00

for some reason this morning, i had the most intense need for donuts.

i needed to go to the hardware store to pick up 1/2" brass fittings to repair some sinks in the lab. soooo, i decided to find out if there was a donut shop close by. after doing a google search for "donut denton," i found that donuts inc. is in the same shopping center as my hardware store.

i got two glazed donuts and a large coffee for $2.07 and drove over to in front of ace hardware to eat my sugar/fat/acrid coffee breakfast. the donuts were great and my pants were soon covered in large, sticky sugar snowflakes as was my face. i took a huge gulp of flaming hot coffee, wiped my face with a napkin and picked up my pipe fittings.

so it occurs to me that perhaps my new plan to gain weight should be eating donuts every morning.

i am going to be fat. soon. details to follow... watch me now!

dunkin' donuts nutritional information:
glazed donut

happy thursday.

2007-03-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

when you put your color print in our lovely hope ra print processor (circa 1991), there is a beeping noise to let you know that the machine is taking your print correctly AND when the beeping stops, the print is fully in the machine and the subsequent print can be fed in.

today. thursday. the machine stopped beeping.

my island.

2007-03-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

1. sunscreen
2. 12 bars of sappho hill SCENTED oatmeal soap.
3. 24" bow saw
4. croquet set
5. stanley classic 99 utility knife
6. pencil w/eraser
7. yellow legal pad
8. action fish "empire strong" kayak
9. oxford english dictionary (compact edition w/maqnifying glass)
10. eye cream (thanks for the reminder, mary)

from houston to dubai.

2007-03-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

pretend you are surprised.

"Bananas, lemons, and take off all their clothes..."

2007-03-07T10:25:00.000-08:00

so i always forget about this mp3 blog when i go-a-hunting for new (and, ahem... free) music.
wfmu in new jersey has a wonderful archive of strange and not so strange songs in their beware the blog.

this jewel is four songs and a nice introduction to the berlin underground scene in the late 70's early 80's.

happy friday. i feel like to puke.

2007-02-23T08:14:00.000-08:00

fitted.

2007-02-22T08:06:00.000-08:00

getting fitted for a blazer in brooks brothers while listening to guyana punchline is like, my dream for the day. and i will take one of those argyle sweaters while i am at it...

flickr: playgound of wonderment and lame searches.

2007-02-19T11:54:00.000-08:00

cats in boxes,
sitting greyhounds,
bald dudes,
humping dogs,
venus de milo,
hoopties.

cedar waxwing.

2007-02-16T13:02:00.000-08:00

m: i like the one with just the tail
looks like the bird is fucking off
me: yeah...
11:28 AM it's dead.

more information

the staaaaate.

2007-02-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

inventory continues.

turkey burn.

2007-02-05T07:31:00.000-08:00

for some reason this photograph has stirred something almost nightmare inducing. oof. i am not scared of avian flu. i am scared of burning turkeys.

who. cares.

2007-02-02T06:43:00.000-08:00

"groundhog day is a people holiday."

taxxxes.

2007-02-01T07:34:00.000-08:00

file your taxes the free way.

i filed through h&r block. their website is waaaaay easy to use and it took all of 15 minutes to complete.

goodnight, ms. ivins

2007-02-01T05:45:00.000-08:00

oof. truly a huge loss of one of the last great non-native-but-got-here-as-soon-as-she-could texas dems. i am totally going to cry in the corner of my office for a bit before i go get coffee this morning.

pinholzzz.

2007-01-31T11:14:00.000-08:00

pinhole love from the pre-czech republic.

if you were not lucky enough to get a pinhole camera kit (this one!) for christmas this past year, here is pdf template for you to get started on. better change that x-acto knife blade, boys and girls!

i can hear music.

2007-01-30T07:21:00.000-08:00

this is really quite wonderful on a thousand different levels.

face mess.

2007-01-29T13:17:00.000-08:00

i am trying to think of a way to get excited about shaving. i am unable to buy my old shaving soap locally anymore and i always wait too long to drag a razor over my face and then it hurts.

i am fully aware that i will never be able to grow a non-pathetic looking beard. i can't even manage to wear stubble well! why is it that i have NO FUCKING DESIRE TO SHAVE? let's see...

1. i guess number one must be that i am waaaay afraid that my face is going to break out after i "do the deed." when i was in high school, i would shave in the morning and then by lunch i could feel my face painful with acne cysts and ingrown hairs. what's cooler than a crappy beard? acne breakouts on 30 year olds.

2. the soap thing. i used to buy burmashave cakes from albertson's. they smell great, last for a fair amount of time (unless you start using them as hand soap...) and cost $1.29. ready for the goocher? no longer made. no website. searching google produces a bunch of faux-vintage signs and some jackass on ebay trying to sell two cakes for nine bucks. ebarbershop is selling a set of three for $14.95 but who is buying it at these prices? possibly me soon. i guess if i am blowing money on $20 lotion from keihl's and $15 on the most modestly priced but convincingly effective eye cream, i guess i could buy the best shaving soap for my face so i don't look like a unshaved creep.

3. mary. wha, wha, what?!? i remember she once told me that stubbly was kinda cute. is this license to not shave for a week straight? hardly. there is a threshold i cross in about 48 hours that turns "stubbly cute" into "unhygenically busted-looking." i can only blame mary partially for this, actually...

4. i am lazy.

take your pick of my reasons. i think it is a combination of all of these. that being said, i still need to shave more often.

have a nice fright.

2006-12-08T10:42:00.000-08:00

whoa. i have not been on an airplane since i was in second grade. to reveal my age, i have not been on an airplane in 19 years.

the thought of getting on a plane does not send me into a panic. that being said, i am a little hesitant only because of my lack of experience with the large metal flying thingies that most people use to travel distances over 300 miles.

i will probably be getting on a plane this summer. i will have a whiskey and water. or two. i will get someone to hold my damp palm. i will be just fine.

radio x2.

2006-12-08T08:14:00.000-08:00

maximum rocknroll radio.
a forgotten classic. usually 4-5 sets of songs by different djs. new and old and jay reatard songs.
radio schizo.
dallas based catch-all podcasts. themed shows. punk. death. metal. poland. wonderful.

get well soon, pig stand.

2006-11-27T11:54:00.000-08:00

happy day after election day.

2006-11-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

don't do it when people ask you to.

yeah like, yeah.

and additionally:

perhaps texas monthly should have asked robert gates about saving the country's ass.

and more additionally:
http://www.tamu.edu/home/spotlight/gatesannouncement.html

happy election day.

2006-11-07T09:58:00.000-08:00

"Let me put it to you this way," Bush told the cheering crowd, "everything I learned, I learned here in Texas."

which, of course, is to say not a lot outside of how to get your pals to steal elections and turn the universe against you.

american hardcore.

2006-11-07T06:55:00.000-08:00

insane and seminal texas bands representing!

possibly the best intro to a movie trailer ever. that is unless your IT/CS manager just walked into your office...
great interactive and quick loading website here. as safe for work as it gets unless your boss or a cop is around.

totally drunk right now.

2006-11-06T12:32:00.000-08:00

ok already with this writing thing. i am going to write with the fruitcake brigade's novel writing month in february but, i am also going to just go and drink/attempt to write something on a yet to be determined and completely arbitrary date in the near future. interested in making this a group project instead of dooming me to drink by myself? please comment below with a suggested date.

[nadruwrini coverage via gawker.]

denver broncos.

2006-11-05T17:54:00.000-08:00

wow, wow, wow. swell game. have some more interceptions, ok?

congrats, broncos. put last year's playoffs behind you already.

bank bone.

2006-11-02T14:26:00.000-08:00

missed my golden hour of lunch today to catch a lecture on the curatorial process by modern art museum of fort worth curator andrea carnes. while getting a grad lackey to cover my belated lunch break at 2pm, i made a run home to eat a sandwich and take the perro out with me on a run to the bank. to my surprise, i found out 2 things:

1. i CAN get free checks from my bank.
2. the bank has dog biscuits to give to dogs who have to sit in the drive-thru lane with thier owners.

red wine.

2006-11-01T13:45:00.000-08:00

you were drinking gallons of red wine because you knew this already.

big ramp.

2006-11-01T12:32:00.000-08:00

i would tell his partner to stop being such a pussy and drop in but i just wet my pants.

happy day after halloween.

2006-11-01T10:55:00.000-08:00

if someone eggs your car on halloween, take the day off of work and wash it yourself. or have like, some college kids to do that shit for you.

bananas and cheese.

2006-10-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

Bananas and Cheese

Submitted by Brian Sutorius

When I was too young to be dropped off at school so my mom could catch up on her soaps, she compromised with me by letting me catch up on my Mister Rogers' Neighborhood for a half hour right before lunchtime. The venerable Fred Rogers played with puppets well into an age where he was eligible for AARP benefits, and also had a traffic light installed in his house. Needless to say, everything he told me should have been taken with a grain of salt, especially before lunchtime.

One day, Mr. McFeely ("Speedy delivery!") brought Fred a blank gray box from the neighborhood grocer, known to all of us as Chef Brockett. Inside that box was one banana, one slice of pre-wrapped American cheese, and a note reading "Wrap cheese around peeled banana and eat right away. Yours, C.B." This being a happier time, Fred gave no second thought to the sparse instructions before enjoying his snack. I immediately told my mother to nix the scheduled peanut butter and jelly.

There's nothing special about this quick concoction (a "C.B."—cheese banana, yes, but also Chef Brockett!), but it doesn't taste half bad. I've tried it with Swiss and jack cheeses in addition to the classic American, and they all play nicely off the banana's spongy texture and unique flavor. I'm sure there are health benefits galore, along with the added bonus of disgusted looks from your lunchtime companions.

[mcsweeney's]

operation: power outage.

2006-10-24T09:36:00.000-07:00

the only part of the building without a single window! thank you safety lights and my trusty cache of maglites.

super target virgins.

2006-10-20T19:40:00.000-07:00

awakened from an early evening nap, i was easily coerced to the new super target. WITH A COUPLE OF VIRGINS.

super target virgins, that is.

thursgay, sickday.

2006-10-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

totally sick as can be today. aches and pains, etc.
this little jewel helps out a bit.

thank you, deer.

happy monday.

2006-10-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

after a wonderful weekend of blushing like a chump, birthday parties and cat pilling, my week starts with no refrigerator. i am eating my meals out of an igloo ice chest and supplementing with the eight dollar buffet from the cupboard (hippies: drop dead, but fix me lunch...) on congress and elm. leftovers will feed me through tuesday night. after that, i will be simultaneously strangling my landlord and purchasing a new refrigerator.

rereading tim seibles.

2006-10-16T16:30:00.000-07:00

I'll probably never die.
My life will just go on and on,
All of my life will be composed of days
where nobody in my city kisses or makes love,
days where a single black-winged butterfly
bothers a tall blue spruce,
where the air barely brushes the hair
on my wrists, where the sunlight
has nothing to do.

Sometimes I sit outside clipping my toenails,
and there's a glint of metal from a window
across the street and I think this is how
it'll end for me - I'll be fucking around
with my big toe and some frustrated dentist
with a Winchester will shove me out of this life
the way some dusty kid brushes a ladybug
off his knee. Some days I can feel the crosshairs
settling on a spot just behind my ear, the bullet
clearing one thin path through the wind: it's
afternoon, the smell of exhausts oils the air.
I see myself tipping over with this skinny river
of music inside my head, but I'm still here -
as far as I can see backwards, there I am
with this gang of hours growing behind me.

When I was about nine
two teenaged guys, Lonnie and his friend
who said he had a knife, took me down
to this place near the railroad tracks.
It was summer. My father was at work.
My mom was at the Food Fair steering a cart
that had one of those weeble-wobbling back wheels
that got on her nerves. When we reached
the thickest bunch of trees, they stopped
and I thought I was gonna get
stabbed. Lonnie's friend said, "Drop
your pants," and when my red shorts hit
my sneakers he smiled, "Them too,"
meaning my dingy underwear with the
drunken elastic, and I stood there shrinking
with my T-shirt covering halfway to my knees.

My friends were back in the schoolyard
playing "Dead Block," sliding jelly-jar tops
across the concrete, trying to get
to the twelfth box, trying not to land
on the skull in the middle, probably
not thinking of me at all. I thought
about how I wouldn't want to be found
dead without my pants on, how my parents
would be ashamed. :Lift up the shirt," he said
and there I was, scared to death
with my thimble-sized jammy bald as a minnow,
while they laughed and pretended they were gonna
take my clothes and tie me to the tracks.

I won't ever die. I'm positive - especially
on days like this when I'm not even sure
if I'm sad or just a little run-down. Especially
when the chinaberry tree keeps letting one
pale yellow leaf fall, and up on a telephone wire
a mourning dove repeats five fluting sounds,
as if even that perfect sentence could explain
a single moment of this life.

I admit I wanted my body to be a saxophone -
I thought the air wanted to be music
and I wanted to make love like a sizzling angel,
like some sort of jazz god whose every note
was a glyph in the alphabet of fire - all the time.

I envy the dead their worry - free days -
no more roaches in the kitchen, no bigots,
nobody smirking at your shoes, no more
waiting for some bonehead to call you back,
nobody wondering if you're married, no bills, no
changing your mind or needing a shower or wincing
at someone's sultry strut, no music for
setting the mood, no one to meet for lunch,
nobody stealing your wallet, no reason to be
nervous, no more mosquito bites, no allergies,
no Presidents, no nausea, no bad weather, and no more news
about people dying - but I'd rather be above ground
running the weeks always coming back
to Monday Mon - day like two notes
some crazed bird coos as it circles your life.

Sometimes, with the right morning, I go out.
I let the rain spell my body, and I think
about the stories, how they shine inside us,
how they must come together somewhere
and make no sense at all, but rather remind us
that once upon a time, we were real,
that all kinds of stuff happened,
and the result was our lives.

I was riding the XH bus to Germantown
Lutheran Academy - early spring I guess.
I was feeling a little blah because my parents
made me eat cream of wheat for breakfast
when I just wanted some cinnamon toast. Then,
at Washington Lane, a mob of Germantown High babes
got on. I was standing by the automatic door
halfway to the back, feeling more and more
like the private school eighth-grader I was,
when this really foxy white girl crowds in
sorta beside me, sorta in front of me, She's
wearing these fish-net stockings and a
black mini-skirt, and her hair was brown sneaking
toward blond. I had on my GLA blazer
and this cornball silver-green tie. She
smelled like strawberries and cigarettes.
At the next stop another bunch of people crammed in,
and suddenly her right hip was set firmly against
my left, I believed she would move to open
a small space between us, and when she didn't this
queasiness, like a flock of winged mice,
claimed me from belly to throat.

Until then, my only interracial moment
consisted of rubbing Karen Goldsmith's calf
on the pretense of touching the reddish birthmark
behind her knee. So being a weaselly little horntoad
of 13 with the vapors of smoke and fruit hazing my soul,
I eased my body bit by tiny bit leftward, holding
my breath until my jammy replaced my hip
against her - at which point she moved
smooth as a minute hand to the right.

That feeling, that feeling when I knew that she knew
she had pinned her butt gently against me -
well, I think about it sometimes now, especially
on days like this when the sidewalk is stoked
with summer and all the ants are running, when
no one in my city can be bothered with a kiss,
especially on days like this when I'm
right in the middle of living forever,
and a crowded bus blunders past and I see
the people packed inside pretending they
don't really see each other, pretending
they aren't seriously dying
to taste that strange communion, to feel that
nearly accidental spark pressed into their skin.

vegan family favorites.

2006-10-09T13:21:00.000-07:00

i will stick to my delicious big franks. that being said, i will probably have a heart attack from eating all those delicious big franks...

ut v. ou, 4th quarter.

2006-10-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

wtf!? out of control camera shot of young sooners fan in the stands CRYING in the last four minutes of the game. CRYING while the announcers made fun of him saying that one of the state fair's fried offerings had "backed up" on him. quite wrong, but mom and i laughed SO hard...

ANOTHER interception by texas and the game winds down. the final? 28-10, texas wins. mom is happy and text messaging her friend.

ut v. ou, 3rd quarter.

2006-10-07T14:58:00.000-07:00

that wacky state fair! fried crap and how many tickets it will set you back...

adrian peterson! what a nightmare!
nice ut touchdown from mccoy to jordan shipley in the last three minutes of the quarter.

ut v. ou, half-time.

2006-10-07T14:30:00.000-07:00

ut v. ou, 2nd quarter.

2006-10-07T14:14:00.000-07:00

steamed artichoke and lemon mayonaise dip. finally found the REAL damn mayo in mum's refrigerator. 10-7, ou up by three...

ut v. ou, 1st quarter.

2006-10-07T13:35:00.000-07:00

ahhh! amstel light and queso. 7-0, texas.

red river rivalry.

2006-10-06T06:58:00.000-07:00

i will be watching college football tomorrow.
i will be watching college football tomorrow with my mum.

up until her death, my grandmother would watch the university of texas v. oklahoma university football game with my mother. the two teams have been rivals for YEARS. mom would cheer for UT, while my grandmother would cheer for OU. mind you, there were no fist-fights, ill will wished, etc. between them, it was just a bonding experience.

tomorrow i will drive to my mother's house, eat tortilla chips and queso, drink an amstel light or two and watch college football. and cheer for UT. along with mum.

sorry, grandmother.

maxime de la rochefoucauld.

2006-10-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

"kudu" mp3

check out the other mp3s available from storyboard as well.

your hifalutin ass.

2006-10-04T12:06:00.000-07:00

[dictionary.com]

socially inept.

2006-10-04T11:51:00.000-07:00

not only was the coffee shop this morning a way-too-early-in-the-day-for-that-comment meat market, but the above packet of mustard stared me in the face while i was filling my cup with coffee. at first, i took offense at the mustard packet modification. then i took offense and thought, "self reference is, like, sooo funny to me."

voyages at lunch.

2006-09-28T10:14:00.002-07:00

reading camus. again. with diane rehm.

2006-09-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

ex-footy player, pissed off, writes short story.
[real audio.]

shopping with sofia.

2006-09-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

sparkling wine being named after her aside, sofia coppola is ok in my book.
if being an established director were not enough, being chic and collected should do. need more? dating (and inseminated by) thomas mars from franco-pop champs, phoenix. too cute. need more? apparently, she is some kind of shopping maven.

le déjeuner sur l'herbe.

2006-09-25T10:26:00.000-07:00

robert polidori at the metropolitan.

2006-09-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

sick of seeing katrina photographs? me too. that being said, i can't get enough of this work.

and the last photograph in the slideshow? remember me?

red has the oddest effect on people.

from craigslist.

2006-09-20T14:55:00.000-07:00

guitar players only.

talk like a pirate day 2006: stfu.

2006-09-20T07:33:00.000-07:00

not one single utterance of pirate speak yesterday. that being said, i found this earlier today.

idolator.

2006-09-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

the newest member of the gawker familia went on line last week. i was wondering when the music blog sibling would happen into existence.
http://idolator.com/

like pink aluminum hotcakes.

2006-09-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

mum and i went to central market this weekend where i dicovered that the sofia sparkling wine also comes in cans. with a straw. cute.

r.i.p.

2006-09-14T05:43:00.000-07:00

sometimes when you turn on the radio you hear someone being talked about and you think, "oh great this tone, so-and-so's age, they totally just died."
sometimes you are wrong, and sometimes you are sad.